Onceler's Rise
by Whackedgourd
Summary: During the rise of Onceler and his Thneed. His P.A. and his mother butt heads, and Henry is a laugh riot when the tech savvy ,musician, best friend of Cotton Batting, and all around annoyance, wants to be. Focuses mainly on Cotton and Onceler's relationship through his rise to fame and fortune.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Cotton Batting

"And then there's the Gala celebratin' your first year as a successful business man, Oncie." said Isabella, the Onceler's mom. "So, we need to find musicians to play at the Gala. And not that old, fuddy duddy elevator music either. Something new, something no ones heard yet." she added grandly, enjoying using big sophisticated words.

"Like what I used to play, before starting the Thneed business? That can be arranged." Onceler said, leaning back in his chair. "But where are we going to find a band on short notice?" He looked at his mother, she looked at him, neither noticed Onceler's personal assistant quietly send a text message, only to get one in return.

The ring tone was an interesting song, and drew attention to the assistant.

"I should get that, shouldn't I?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"You shouldn't have it on." said Isabella disapprovingly.

"Who wrote that song Ms. Batting?" Onceler asked, in great interest.

"A local band. I know the male lead and he harasses me into listening to them. They play at the old Club every weekend. They would be free to play the Gala." said Cotton Batting.

"Set it up then." Onceler said brightly.

"Now hang on a minute Oncie dear. We can't just take a chance on a band that only a personal assistant knows about. Perhaps a back up band just in case hers doesn't work out." Isabella said, giving Cotton a cool stare. "Now sweetie, we need a back up just in case…"

"Just in case my friend, that I've known since birth and has never before let me down, flakes out and ditches the Gala. Sure, I'll book another band as back up. It's so confidence inspiring to know that you think so much of other peoples abilities." Cotton said so smoothly sarcastic that it went over Isabella's head, and earned her a questioning glance from Onceler.

Cotton pasted a fake smile on her face and left the room to make the arrangements.

"That girl is so irritating Oncie. Perhaps you should consider getting a new assistant. A tall one. Or one who's better looking than her at least." Isabella said, loud enough to be heard by Cotton.

"All the others weren't nearly as good at the job as she is. They all thought it was secondary to being seen with me." Onceler said uneasily. He was well aware of why his mother wanted him to replace Cotton.

Cotton didn't bend over backwards for his mother, and she was focussed on her job, not trying to get a settlement from his lawyers over harassment of any kind. Isabella was trying to set him up with any girl she thought was good looking. Tall enough to tower over even him and vapid enough to be pliable and easy to control by her. Cotton, however, just snorted inelegantly, whenever he had a lunch date with one of the women his mother threw at him. After a few minutes, Isabella left Onceler's office. Onceler sighed and sat back in his chair, it was always draining, having his mother and Cotton in the same room, the snide comments from his mother and the sly sarcasm from Cotton, was fun, but he'd have to do something about them eventually. Perhaps after the conference call board meeting this afternoon.

Cotton sat at her tiny desk, going through the paperwork for hiring a band, and listening to her tiny personal music player. Often she'd sing along, though no louder than under her breath. She didn't notice Isabella impatiently tapping her toe behind her. A loud, very unladylike throat clearing made Cotton almost jump out of her skin.

"What madam?" Cotton started to snap, then realized who was with her. "What can I help you with madam?" she asked, trying to remain polite, even though she wanted to slap the superior smirk off Onceler's mom's face.

"I may not be a big city girl, but I know what you're trying to do with my son." Isabella said narrowing her eyes at Cotton, who looked at her blankly. "My Oncie is a good boy; he wouldn't be caught dead with a girl like you."

"You mean a hard working, mind on her job and not in the clouds, girl like me? One who isn't trying to be his baby mama and squeeze every nickel she can get out of him? One who actually respects herself enough to not be intimidated by his family? A girl who wouldn't be caught dead with a mother in law like you?" Cotton asked acidly, this was the only time she could get away with speaking her mind to Onceler's mother, because the horrible woman was too short sighted to bring along a recording device because she thought they were trashy and because Cotton used one at board meetings. "Madam, I do respect your son. I even had a slight crush on him when I first started working here. You want to throw super models at him, go ahead. I'm a grown woman, I'm not so easily hurt seeing him with other women. I got over him ages ago. So if that was your only angle, I'm sorry, but you're out of luck on that one." Cotton said with a smirk.

"You're fired!" Isabella said shrilly.

"You aren't my boss and you didn't hire me. You have no authority over me and therefore you cannot fire me. And besides, it's too close to the Gala to fire the one person who actually knows how to plan these things. So, if you'll excuse me, I have real work to do." Cotton said with a smirk as Isabella spun and stomped away. She knew there'd be retribution eventually, but there was the board meeting to get through in a few minutes.

Onceler watched as his mother paced back and forth in front of his desk, ranting about his personal assistant. He thought privately, that Cotton was the best p.a. he had ever had. Even though she'd only been with the company for two months. He was also sure that his mother was exaggerating horribly about the conversation she had with Cotton not ten minutes ago. Cotton was so soft spoken and quiet, that what his mother was claiming, was border lining on hilarious, it was so obviously untrue.

"Mom, look I have to go to the board meeting. I'll have a talk with Ms. Batting afterwards. That's all I can do at the moment." Onceler said, hoping it was enough it appease his mother for a while. At least long enough to let him get some sleep. His mother was not above using sleep deprivation to get him to cave to her demands. Onceler gathered up his notes and papers, and left to go to the boardroom. Cotton met him halfway and smiled at him.

"Ready, sir?" Cotton asked softly, she adjusted his shirt collar, straightened his tie and smoothed the lapels of his jacket. "I still say a man can not dress himself, no matter how old or successful he is." she added with a chuckle, Onceler smirked and went into the boardroom. Cotton, mouthy and insulting indeed, he thought to himself. Smart and a little sarcastic, sure, but his mother was making a mountain out of a molehill.

About half way through the board meeting, a video conference call no less and something unusual happened. The board members on screen vanished and the techs couldn't get the signal back. Then, with a fizz of static, a young man appeared. He was half-dressed, as far as Onceler could tell, and was sitting on a kitchen counter top. He was also speaking to someone behind his camera.

"…We on? Hello? Can you see me? Can you hear me?" asked the man with a bright grin, which reminded Onceler of a child and too much suger. Onceler nodded and stared as the man picked up a piece of cake. "Mmm. Good cake. Cotton, you make good cake."

"You know this person, Ms. Batting?" Onceler asked, turning to look at Cotton in confusion. She looked ready to faint or commit murder and Onceler couldn't decide which was going to win anymore than she could. The young man called his attention away from Cotton.

"So, Mr. Onceler, my friend there has told me that you have decided to hire my band for your Gala." said the young man with a grin and anther bite of cake.

"Henry Wiggins, why are you in my kitchen? Why are you eating cake in my kitchen?!" Cotton demanded nearly hysterical, then her blood ran cold. "Are you eating cake, in my, kitchen, on my counter, in your underwear?" she asked in a frigid tone, earning a look of surprise from Onceler.

"Of course, I'm not in my underwear." Henry said with a wicked grin. 'I'm eating cakey and I'm nakey!" he sang making the cameraman laugh.

"Henry! I make food on that counter! Henry!" Cotton shrieked at the screen. Onceler tried to keep his mouth shut, but a snicker escaped him, catching Cotton's attention, he quailed slightly under her glare, before she turned back to the screen. "Henry, you are dangerously close to being found dead in a ditch outside of town. If you want to live long enough to perform at the Gala, you will turn off the hack and allow us to continue our real job." Cotton growled through a frozen grin on her face.

"I only called in to give a live preview so your boss knows just what he's getting into." Henry said, with a bright smile at Onceler. "So, has Cotton told you anything about our band?" Henry asked, as he helped himself to another slice of cake.

"Our band?" Onceler asked blankly.

"Yup, she's our lead singer. She's one of the best." Henry said proudly. "She's also written most of our songs." Cotton sighed and put a hand to her face, covering her eyes.

"Henry, if it hasn't happened already, I'm going to lose my job because of this stunt. That isn't going to get you any more leeway from your inevitable death due to strangulation." Cotton almost hissed as she circled around the monitors.

"Hey now. Cotton, don't go doing anything you'll regret come the weekend." Henry warned good-naturedly. Cotton froze and glared at the screen. Henry grinned, then watched in confusion as Cotton's eyes widened and she grinned evilly.

She pulled out her cell phone and turned her back to the monitor.

"Yes sir… no actually I was just speaking to Henry…He hacked into a board meeting and may have cost me my job…yes sir. No, he is in my kitchen, eating my cake, and sitting on my counter, naked… Yes, again. Well, it was nice speaking to you sir. Bye bye." Cotton said quietly, and hung up her cell phone. She turned to Henry and grinned evilly.

"What did you do? Who were you talking to? Cotton? Cotton answer me…Why is General Dad calling me…Cotton you called my dad?!" Henry almost shrieked as his cell phone rang. Cotton sat in her chair and looked fairly pleased with herself.

"You called his dad?" Onceler asked quietly, leaning over the arm of his chair to whisper to Cotton, as Henry talked to his father.

"I called General Wiggins and told him what his wayward youngest son was up to without my help. Turns out, the good General Sir can deal with his son being in a band and being of questionable sexuality, but he can't deal with his boy getting into trouble without a good reason." Cotton said, settling down with a satisfied look on her face.

"And what would a good reason be?" Onceler asked, Cotton's grin turned into a smile as she looked at him.

"Trying to get me out of all that trouble." Cotton said with a laugh.

"Cotton, you're a horrible person!" Henry wailed dramatically. "Has she told you about how she wants to be a world renowned singer and have you fund that career?"

"Henry!" Cotton snapped, appalled.

"And, and, she has like the biggest crush on you ever." Henry said quickly and grinned wildly.

"Henry, you are going to die when I get my hands on you!" Cotton shrieked, just as Henry killed the connection and the screen went blank. "I am going to kill him. General Sir was right. I would wind up a homicidal maniac. An axe murderer, just long enough to kill and dismember and freeze all of Henry's parts before scattering him to the wind like confetti." Cotton ranted as she slumped in her chair, making Onceler look at her in confusion and a little fear at her ranting. She snuck a look at him, and he grinned at her.

"So, you have a crush on me." Onceler asked, a little flattered.

"Do I have to include you in my homicide plan?" Cotton asked acidly, but had to grin at Onceler when his grin only got bigger. "I did, before. Get ver yourself. Geez, what is it with men and needing to stroke their egos'?" Cotton asked with a chuckle. Onceler chuckled and then the feed was back on with the other board members.


	2. Chapter 2

That evening, after Cotton got home and found Henry sitting, in his swimsuit, on her sofa, she had a quick meltdown, to which Henry prescribed going out to the club to dance. Melody and Harmony were called up and invited along as deterrent. Henry wasn't into girls just coming up to him and if it looked like he already had more than he could handle, most women wouldn't bother. This was also so that Cotton and the twins could dance and avoid most guys hitting on them. Henry was tall, handsome, muscular, and really quite intimidating now that he had got his hair cut short. General ?Wiggins and his wife were proud of all five of their children, all boys and all very attractive. The older four were married or with life partners and looking to adopt. Military man or not, General Wiggins loved his boys and supported them, though Henry himself was a trial akin to war sometimes. Since Cotton's father had buggered off when she was a baby and left her mother to fend for both of them, Mrs. General Wiggins had taken it upon herself to make sure both mother and child were taken care of. The General and the oldest three boys would do lawn care for both lawns, eventually property lines were forgotten. Family vacations now included two baby seats and an extra bed in the hotel. Henry and Cotton were practically siblings and her first date was followed by five cars, it would have been six, but Henry had rode along with Cotton, carrying a baseball bat.

Cotton was snapped out of her reverie when Harmony shook her shoulder, they had arrived at the club. They were there to dance, but Henry would have them on stage and performing within an hour. It was a good thing that they kept in practice as often as possible. As intimidating as Henry could be, he was more apt to charm people into letting him as he pleased. Even going so far as getting out of speeding tickets, and jury duty, and avoiding being canned by his day job boss. Henry was the male lead of their band, but rarely put in more than two or three hours of actual practice since he was responsible for most of the gigs they had performed at. Melody and Harmony were twins and the female back up singers. Harmony played piano, which Henry translated into key boards and Melody was almost a prodigy on the drums. Her teacher thought it was amazing, even if their high class parents thought the drums weren't ladylike. Henry had recruited some guys to play back up instruments. Cotton and the twins never bothered to learn their names.

Dancing and performing every night from Friday to Floobday, all four nights was a bit draining on Cotton, she worked long days at Thneedcorp. Fifty, sometimes sixty hour workweeks added up when she'd perform sometimes for hours on the weekends and floobdays were almost every week. Sometimes as many as four a month. Cotton shook her head, she had the next two days off. She and Hatmony went to the bar. Dim as they were, the twins knew how to wrangle free drinks out of guys, even going so far as to get Henry set up for the night so that he didn't have to pay. Whether they went through on their empty promises or not was their business, Cotton didn't meddle unless it was eating in on what little time they had to practice and perform. She retrieved her drink from the barman, who nodded at her. The Club was a favourite haunt of theirs and the staff knew them on sight. Cotton was making her way back to the booth they always used, only to get way layed by some guy who didn't know what the word 'no' meant.

"Well, aren't you a breath of fresh air?" said the short, very short, young man.

"Are you even old enough to drink? How did you get in here?" Cotton asked, looking down at the short man in bemusement.

"I'm old enough to be in here!" snapped the boy. "Why does everyone keep asking that?" he muttered under his breath. Then he straightened up to his full height.

"May I buy you a drink?" he asked hopefully.

"Are you old enough to drink, let alone buy drinks?" Cotton asked, unable to believe that this guy was already out of grade school, let alone college. "I mean, no thanks. Got a fresh one right here." Cotton said holding up her acid green drink. She smiled nicely at the boy, and walked away. He really should have checked his braces in the mens room mirror. Cotton snickered all the way back to her table. She related the story to Melody, having somehow misplaced Harmony in the time it took her to order her drink and come knees to nose with the toddler sized man. Melody and Cotton laughed for a while at the idea that someone would try pick any of them up. They danced and had more drinks when Harmony finally turned up again, this time with Henry. Cotton was pretty sure that Henry and the twins had a threeway or something going on. She shrugged and tossed back her new bright orange drink. As she lowered her drink, she noticed something deeply disturbing. Three new patrons had walked into the Club and she knew all three.

"Hey, isn't he like, your boss?" Melody asked, with a giggle.

"Ooh, he's cute." Harmony said, grinning and waggling her fingers to try and catch Onceler's attention.

"What is he doing here?" Cotton hissed, turning to Henry, who shrugged.

"It could have something to do with the message I left with him to come and see us perform tonight." Henry said nonchalantly. Cotton stared att him for a moment.

"Oh, Henry!" Cotton groaned putting her face in her hands, Henry only grinned and stood up to wave Onceler and his twin brothers over to the booth. They came over, the blank looks on Brett and Chet's faces stopped Henry from asking if they drank at all. However, that didn't stop him from waving down a waitress for himself, Onceler and the girls. Melody and Harmony now wore smiles that were near predatory, after taking in the sight of Cotton still trying to hide and Onceler chuckling at her.

"So, Mister Onceler." Melody began in a drawling tone.

"You're single, right?" Harmony asked hopefully, both girls dissolved into giggles when Onceler turned red and Cotton shot a glare at them.

"Why don't you two go dance?" Cotton said in a sweet tone that had acid under the surface, this only made the twin girls laugh harder.

"Geez, Cotton, can you be any more obvious?" Henry asked with a wicked grin.

"What are you talking about?" Cotton asked through a frozen skull like grin.

"Mel, Mins, take these… gentlemen and go dance, won't you?" Henry asked, the girls twins pouted prettily for a moment, but did actually drag off Onceler's brothers.

"So, mr. Onceler, how's things?" Henry asked politely, and got two looks, a confusd one from Onceler and a look of disbelief from Cotton. "Doesn't matter, don't worry about it. Small talk is so difficult. Drink?" Henry said quickly, when the waitress arrived with their drinks. They spoke for a few minutes, until Henry got called back stage, leaving Cotton and Onceler together. Melody and Harmony were still dancing, having managed to lose Brett and Chet in the crush of people on the dance floor. The next song that came on, was one of Henry's favourites to cover.

"Aww, Henry!" Cotton groaned and almost cried whne Henry started dancing to the ridiculous song.

"He's, energetic." Onceler commented, unable to come up with anything else, as Henry sang and danced on stage to _I Sexy and I Know It_. What made Cotton laugh near hysterically, was when Henry _wiggled._ Onceler snorted half his drink into his nasal cavity and choked on the rest, as he laughed. Now that the crowd was warmed up, Henry motioned to Cotton to come onstage.

"A public execution, how apropos." Cotton said wryly. "I'll be back in a few minutes. None of us turns down a chance to perform."

"Have fun!" Onceler shouted, then ordered another drink. Cotton's friend Henry was a laugh riot. They worked well together on stage and may appear to be at each others throats off stage, it was clear that they were good friends, probably more than friends. This thought was a little depressing, and Onceler sat his glass down as he watched Henry and Cotton sing a duet on stage. They sang two more songs, before it was obvious that Cotton was beginning to lose her voice since she had not warmed up before going on stage.

""So, what did you think? Still wanna hire us for the Gala? It's during the day, so our music and covers will be appropriate. We won't do those particular songs, since old money will be there." Henry rambled on and on.

"Henry! Stop talking!" Cotton ordered with a grin as he promptly clammed up. "So, Mr. Onceler, now that you can get a word in edge wise; what did you think? Of course, since I'll be attending the Gala as your aide, I won't be performing. But the others will." Cotton said, fully aware that she was going on and on as much as Henry was.

"You both are vey good. Thneedcorp would be pleased to hire you for the Gala." Onceler said, fiddling with his gold buttons and pocket watch chain. "If you'd like to perform, Ms. Batting, I'm sure we could work it into the schedule." He added quietly after Henry went screaming into the throng of people.

"Cotton, please. We aren't at work right now." Cotton said, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible. As open and naïve as Onceler could be, he was also very perceptive, and was quick to catch on to Henry's deliberate blurting of Cotton's secret crush on him.

"How, how long have you and him known each other?" Onceler asked nervously, he was still a young man and talking to women was a little out of his league.

"Since we were babies. Our mothers' raised us practically like siblings. He even tagged along on my first date and threatened to break the guys skull if he saw what he called 'grabby hands'." Cotton said with a snicker. "You gotta get him to tell you about how we used to go fishing and were too young to use the big poles." Cotton laughed.

"How ong have you two been…together?" Onceler asked hesitantly.

"Henry and me? Together?!" Cotton asked in surprise, then started laughing hysterically. She finally wound down and tried to apologize to a faintly insulted Onceler. "Me and Henry have never been together. Ever. End of story. He's like a brother to me and neither of us are into incest. No matter that we're from different families. The closest I came to ever having a crush on someone from his side was his older brother George. I was also seven at the time." Cotton said with a sigh at the memory.

"What are we talking about about?" Henry asked as he sat down with Harmony and Melody. Onceler's brothers were still caught in the crowd.

"How I was in love with George for a month." Cotton giggled, smiles broke out and Henry groaned.

"He saved your life, but he also put you in that situation." Henry said, his smile vanishing for a rare moment, before coming back as an evil grin. "Wanna know what George and Terry did?"

"No! I like my hero worship of George. I don't want your logic and reality ruining it!" Cotton protested, Henry shoved her away, which meant she went over Onceler's lap and sat on his opposite side.

"So, it went like this." Henry began.

Years ago, George, the oldest and Terry, the second oldest, had to babysit the youngest two children, since Charles and Jason were off at summer camp. George and Terry took them out on the lake in the small yacht that had taken their father years to save up enough to buy. They had also brought the deep sea fishing rods when they had grabbed all the fishing gear. The little kids, both no more than seven each, were below deck in the master bedroom, watching movies. The two older boys were tired of fishing and catching nothing, until George came up with an idea that might alleviate the boredom and keep the little kids out of their hair. The movies and books and games had run out and they wouldn't be putting into dock until dark. Terry had at least thought ahead and put down the swim ladder, in case the little kids wanted to swim. But they wanted to try fishing like they saw in Terry's comic book. Neither older boy could come up with anything else and both were certified in CPR and swimming. Terry was his schools reigning swim champ.

George sent Terry to get the deep sea poles and life jackets. Terry cut the hooks off the lines and they tied the lines to the life jackets and put them on the little kids.

"Wait, wait. They tied you to fishing poles?" Onceler asked incredulously.

"Wait, it gets better." Cotton said with agrin.

After a few minutes of wrangling, the older boys had swung the kids out and over the deep water, after arming them with plastic life boat paddles. The kids were told to smack the fish if they saw any. So there they were, two little kids dangling from fishing rods, swatting at wavelets and thinking they were helping to catch fish. It was fun for a few minutes. Right up until the knot George had tied to Cotton's life jacket came loose and dropped Cotton into the cold water. George, in his panic, threw a super expensive deep sea rod over the opposite railing and swan dived into the water to rescue Cotton. Terry had hauled up Henry and both had rushed to the swim ladder to see George with one arm around Cotton, and Cotton holding a fish nearly as large as herself. George and Terry were both grounded for a year for that particular stunt.

"They used you as fish bait and they only got grounded?" Onceler asked incredulous.

"General Sir didn't approve of beating his children. Sure they were spanked when little, but what's worse for a teenaged boy; grounded from parties and dating, or a beating that'll wear off in a month?" Cotton asked pointedly, Onceler's eyebrows rose in understanding. "Exactly my point. General Sir is a canny old goat."

"You know, my dad still has that fish mounted on the old yacht." Henry said thoughtfully. This made everyone at the table laugh.

For the first time in a long time, Onceler was enjoying himself, at least until Henry gave him a new nickname. Onsie wasn't exactly the same as what his mother called him, but it was better than Momma's Boy or various other names that he knew his board members called him because of his youth and inexperience. Onceler sat back and enjoyed himself as Cotton and Henry argued good naturedly around him, Melody and Harmony flirted with almost anyone and his brothers' finally made it out of the crowd to get back to the table. Somehow, both were now dressed in other peoples clothing and if Onceler looked hard enough, he could see a hat or a pair of overalls disappearing amongst the crush of people. It wouldn't have been so bad, if Chet wasn't wearing a skirt that barely covered his own rear end and Brett didn't have on a shirt that read 'Jubejube'. Laughs were had all around and drinks were consumed in great quantities. It was near dawn, when they all headed to their own homes. Onceler had sent Brett and Chet home early, so they wouldn't get photographed in the ridiculous outfits. So now Onceler was left without a ride and only Henry and Cotton to drive as neither had drank enough to get drunk. Well, Henry wasn't drunk, he had to return the twins to their place and Cotton could walk home. She lived twenty minutes away. Henry however, drove all five of them to Cotton's place and left her and Onceler on the front porch of her apartment building.

"You don't have a way home, do you?" Cotton asked, pulling off her shoes, Onceler smiled and shrugged, too tired to speak at the moment. "Okay. You can crash on my sofa. It has a pull out bed." Cotton said, and dragged a near comatose Onceler to the elevator. It took three tries for Cotton to get her key in the lock, sleep and drink made her hand eye coordination diminish to near nothing. Onceler started giggling and couldn't stop, making Cotton laugh and both sat on her couch to keep laughing. Neither remembered what was so funny or noticed when they both passed out on the couch.

* * *

So clearly, I shouldn't read Calvin and Hobbes while writing. They're not drunks and no one condones excessive drinking. Review please.


End file.
